I'm tired and grumpy.

My Moms birthday is coming up and that explains why I've been in a weird mood lately. I don't know if I should pay homage and respect to her or if thats a bad way of hanging onto the past and not  "letting go." Part of me doesn't want to let go. I don't want to forget my mother. She was a great impact and infulence in my life. It was because of her wisdom and guidance I became the person I am today, well along with a little smoothing out for the world.

I promised my mother I would graduate college I still plan on doing it. Though it seems like no matter what I do or how hard I try I'm being thrown a bunch of curveballs that stops me from being able to complete that goal. I haven't given up on it yet. Though I feel like I should. Everyone I talk to tells me that ultimately college is a waste of time and money though surprisingly that is something that comes from people who've been through college. Should I listen to them and take their opinions to heart and just save the money and move on to something else? I mean I'd be investing quite a bit of money (which I dont have) and time (which I guess I have a lot of) but I'd be breaking a promise I made to my mother.

I wonder if my mom is proud of me or rather if she would be proud of me where I am. I have a car, I have a job, I have someone in my life that I care deeply about to the point where I'd move to the ends of the earth as long as I got to keep them in my life. However I don't have the best job or the best car. I'm working a job that keeps me in a constant state of ennui and pays me just enough so I can put a little away and continue to get to work which is pretty bad but I guess its life.

Nonsencial semi-exhausted ramblings. I'm sure I'll be back later.