We recently had a Black History Month celebration at work. It was nice to be apart of a discussion around blackness and our history that didn't have to do with slavery and/or oppression. While I am not ignorant to the struggle and the plights of my ancestors before me. I am more than just slavery and oppression.
I have always found it to be a bit of a struggle to relate with my people. I've had a lot of hobbies that, well, I don't think it's fair to say are "white" hobbies. Even though growing up I was constantly told that. I think it's fairer to say hobbies that are generally filled with people who don't match up to me with a similar ethnic background.
Deep down inside I feel as if to be "black" you have to do certain things or behave a certain way. Which is crazy because I know that I don't but I still feel like I have to? When typing this out I'm immediately reminded of a Ron Swanson quote:
Ron Swanson: “Everything I do is the attitude of an award winner, because I've won an award.”
Everything I do is what black people do, because I am a black person.
However it is always tiring being the only black person. The only black voice. The only representative of an entire group of people. I could definitely seek out more spaces for people that look like me but those spaces might not necessarily align with my interests but that seems a little disingenuous? Like I'm just here for the black folx. Something if any non-black person did it would seem as if they had impure motives.
I don't know. I don't have the answer for this. For the feelings that I'm feeling. What I can do to alleviate them.
The only thing I can really do is move-forward and be my authentic code-switching self and hopefully snag up a few more irl black friends a long the way just so I can have some people to hang out with.
Ron Swanson: “Everything I do is the attitude of an award winner, because I've won an award.”
Everything I do is what black people do, because I am a black person.
However it is always tiring being the only black person. The only black voice. The only representative of an entire group of people. I could definitely seek out more spaces for people that look like me but those spaces might not necessarily align with my interests but that seems a little disingenuous? Like I'm just here for the black folx. Something if any non-black person did it would seem as if they had impure motives.
I don't know. I don't have the answer for this. For the feelings that I'm feeling. What I can do to alleviate them.
The only thing I can really do is move-forward and be my authentic code-switching self and hopefully snag up a few more irl black friends a long the way just so I can have some people to hang out with.
